Women, Called and Serving in Leadership

Mutual Submission

August 13, 2009 on 9:50 pm | In Biblical Equality, Submission, Women in Ministry | 1 Comment

I was also asked to write a message on Mutual Submission for Romania. Please continue to pray that God uses these message to open ministry doors to women in the nation of Romania.

Mutual Submission by Pastor Dawn Wilson

To correctly understand Ephesians 5:22 we must first find the context of the apostle Paul’s writing in Ephesians 5. The context of Ephesians 5 is established in vs. 1 – 2.

Ephesians 5:1-2 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; 2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

The context of apostle Paul’s writing in Ephesians 5 is for ALL Christians – male and female – to be imitators of God and Jesus by walking in sacrificial love towards one another.

The apostle Paul begins a discourse on how sacrificial love is to function in the body of Christ in vs. 21.

Ephesians 5:21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

In vs. 21 the apostle Paul says EACH GENDER is to be subject to the other in the fear (reverence) of Christ. The Christian male is subject to the Christian female and vice versa – in Christ one gender is not above another, instead we are subject to one another.

The apostle Paul begins his discourse on how sacrificial love functions in the body of Christ by placing all in subjection to one another.

The mutual subjection of Ephesians 5:21 is found in several other scriptures. Romans 12:10 “prefer one another”, 1 Thessalonians 5:15 “seeking for the good and the benefit of others”, Philippians 2:3-4 with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves, 4 “put others and their needs before our own”.

The Greek word hupotasso is translated as subject to. The apostle Paul uses hupotasso in its middle voice of hupotassomai in his discourse on subjection in Ephesians 5. Hupotasso in the middle voice conveys the meaning of a “submission that is voluntarily given”. Thus Hupotasso submission cannot be required or forced. The one giving hupotasso submission must give it voluntarily.

Hupotasso’s middle voice hupotassomai does not convey the meaning of “a ranking of persons, to rule over or to be ruled.”

The Greek uses two entirely different words for a submission which demands or requires obedience. The Greek word for “dutiful obedience” is hupakouo. The Greek word for “obedient submission to one in authority” is peitharcheo.

The apostle Paul used the Greek word hupakouo in Ephesians 6 when instructing children and slaves in dutiful obedience. Surely, if he had meant to place wives in a position of obedience to their husband he would have used this word in Ephesians 5, just as he did in Ephesians 6.

What does hupotasso submission look like? We can find the answer by looking further at the definition of this word.

Hupotasso’s middle voice Hupotassomai conveys the meaning of “tend to the needs of, be supportive of, and be responsive to.” Hupotassomai when used as a military term conveys the meaning of “equal sharing of the task”.

According to the apostle Paul in vs. 21 both male and female are to give hupotassomai submission to one another in reverence of Christ. The apostle Paul is thus instructing all Christians tend to each other’s needs, to be supportive of one another, and be responsive to one another.

The apostle Paul after placing the church in voluntary submission to one another in vs. 22 begins an explanation of “how” this voluntary mutual submission is to work in a marriage relationship.

Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Vs. 22 actually reads “Wives, to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” The words be subject are borrowed from vs. 21. The apostle Paul did not separate wife’s submission to her husband from the mutual submission given in vs. 21. When he borrowed the verbiage of vs. 21 the apostle Paul welded the concepts of mutual submission and wife submission together as one.

Hupotasso submission is given voluntarily. Thus Paul instructs wives to voluntarily submit to the husband just as their husbands voluntarily submit to their wives in the mutual submission of vs. 21.

Apostle Paul instructs wives in hupotassomai submission to voluntarily meet the needs of, to give support to, and be responsive to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

The apostle Paul instructs husbands to agapao (translated as love) their wives. The Greek word agapao is almost identical to hupotassomai in meaning. Agapao means “giving up of oneself to care for another, be responsive to, tend to the needs of”.

Apostle Paul used these two key words in a parallel fashion to example how the marriage relationship functions in the mutual submission found in vs. 21.

The apostle Paul did not only use these two key words in such a parallel in Ephesians 5. He also used them in the same parallel fashion in Colossians 3:18-19.

Colossians 3:18-19 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.

Paul again uses these two key words – hupotassomai and agapao - in a parallel fashion to example how the marriage relationship functions in the mutual submission.

The sacrificial love with which the apostle Paul began this chapter is exampled in function in vs. 21 – 25. Sacrificial love is first exampled in function in the body of Christ through mutual submission to one another in vs. 21, then exampled in wives’ hupotassomai submission to their husbands in vs. 22, and lastly exampled in husbands agapao love to their wives in vs. 25.

Wives in the sacrificial love of mutual submission are to prefer their husbands over themselves, put their husband’s needs before their own, and seek for the good and the benefit of their husband.

Husbands in the sacrificial love of mutual submission are to prefer their wives over themselves, put their wives needs before their own, and seek for the good and benefit of their wives.

In 1 Peter we have scriptural examples which showcase hupotasso as being voluntarily given.

1Peter 2:13-14 Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, 14 or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. 15 For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men.

The apostle Peter instructs the church which has been scattered and in now living in the midst of a hostile environment to give voluntary submission (hupotasso) to every human institution and to those in authority for the Lord’s sake.

The apostle Peter does not demand these Christians submit, instead he makes a request that they choose to give submission voluntarily for the sake of the Lord.

1Peter 2:18 Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable.

Apostle Peter requests the Christians who are slaves (servants) voluntarily give submissive to their masters with all respect. He petitions them to give voluntary submission not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable.

1Peter 3:1-2 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

Apostle Peter begins his instructions to wives by saying, ‘in the same way’. These words, in the same way, connect this statement with the voluntary submission he requested the whole church give to those in authority and the voluntary submission he petitioned Christian slaves give to their masters in 1 Peter 2.

Apostle Peter requested wives to also give voluntary submission to their husband. He made this request so that unsaved husbands would be won to the Lord by their behavior.

Another possible reason for his request for voluntary submission from these wives is that Roman law commanded wives be subject to their husbands. Under Roman law wives were under the dominion and rule of their husbands. The Apostle Peter requested these wives not only voluntarily submit to those in authority but that they also willingly submit to the law with required submission to their husbands.

1 Peter 3:1-2 is not a command for wife submission — it is a request for voluntary submission.

The apostle Peter then uses Sarah’s voluntary submission to Abraham as an example.

1Peter 3:5-6 … being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

Apostle Peter when speaking of Sarah’s submission and obedience to Abraham is referring to the two times Abraham asked her to not tell that she was his wife but to instead say she was his sister. Abraham asked her to do so because he feared for his life. [Gen. 12:5-20, Gen. 20:1-18]

Sarah voluntarily submitted to Abraham’s request for her to lay aside her position as his wife. In voluntary submission she obeyed Abraham’s request say she was his sister.

Sarah did not have to lay aside her position as his wife – she had every right to refuse his request. Instead of refusing she voluntarily submitted and did as he requested.

The apostle Peter uses Sarah’s voluntary submission as an example to these wives. He encourages them to follow her example and voluntarily submit to their own husbands. BUT he didn’t stop with only the example of her submission and obedience – he also gave as an example Sarah’s being without any fear to frighten her.

Sarah was without any fear to frighten her because she had learned in the midst of pharaoh’s harem and Abimelech king of Gerar’s house that she could trust God and His protection in all things.

While in these harems Sarah could not hope that Abraham would deliver her – his fear for his own life had caused him to ask her to willing submit to being taken to this place and face the terrible consequences she now suffered. Fear for his life controlled Abraham, she could not expect any deliverance from his hand.

Sarah’s only hope for deliverance from her plight was God. Vs. 6 tells us that Sarah’s trust in God as her deliverer was so great that she was not afraid — even in these dire and terrible circumstances.

Why did the apostle Peter include this in his example of Sarah to these wives — he did so to encourage them that they need not fear as they willing submitted to unsaved husbands, they could trust God as Sarah had to be their protector. He did so to encourage them God would also deliver them from their circumstance — Roman law which placed them under the rule and dominion of their husbands — just as He had delivered Sarah.

Hupotasso is submission which is given voluntarily as exampled by the apostle Peter in 1 Peter 2 and 3.

Let’s look at several more verses which speak of submission voluntarily being given by wives to their husbands.

Titus 2:5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

The word translated as subject is once again hupotasso in its middle voice.

Apostle Paul instructs the older women to encourage the younger women to voluntarily love their husbands in a sacrificial love which seeks for the good and for the benefit of their husbands.

The submission Paul wrote of in marriage is a willingness to seek for the very best for one another. It is giving honor to our spouse above our self. It is working together to reach a common goal. It is voluntarily walking in subjection to each other, preferring one another, and seeking for the good of the other over our own good in sacrificial love.

Husbands and wives walk in subjection to each other as equals.

Some say of the partnership in the marriage relationship “equal but different functions” but the truth is that equality does not exist in this definition of the marriage relationship. Equality means ‘the state of being equal’ and being equal means “having the same status, same value, same rank, and same ability.”

Equality does not exist when one marriage partner is placed in authority or rule over the other. Equality does not exist when one marriage partner is place in a position of obedience to the other. Equality exists in the mutual submission the apostle Paul placed marriage in Ephesians 5:21-22.

Let’s now continue on with our examination of Ephesians 5.

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.

This verse is the “hinge” often used to establish a doctrine which places wives under the “authority and dominion” or “under the rule” of their husbands.

The Greek word kephale is translated as head. Kephale is not the Greek word used to convey “authority, dominion, or rule over.” The apostle Paul did not chose to use a word which conveyed the meaning “having authority over, ruling over, or having dominion over” in vs. 23.

Kephale when not used to mean the literal head as a part of the human body means “seizing, taking hold of, and source (as in the original, the beginning or start of something or originating from and being brought forth from an original.)”

If apostle Paul had meant to place the husband in a position of “rule over, authority over, and dominion” over the wife he would have surely used the Greek Word which did so. He instead used the word kephale which means “source” as in the head waters of a river.

Apostle Paul did not choose to use the Greek Word oikodespotes which means “the head of a family, master of the house” when he spoke of the husband in vs. 23. He choose instead to use the word kephale which is never used to convey the meaning of authority. If he had meant to give the position of “head of the family” and “master of the house” to the husband he would have certainly used the word oikodespotes.

The Greek word for “husband and man” is the word aner. The Greek word for “wife and woman” is the word gune. Thus vs. 23 could be translated as, ” the man is the source of the woman”. I believe this is proved to be the correct translation when coupled with the apostle Paul’s usage of kephale. By his use of kephale the apostle Paul is stating that the man was the SOURCE from which He brought for the woman (Eve).

This also is in line with what apostle Paul wrote of the Christ and the church. Christ is the source of the church – the church has her beginning in Him.

Ephesians 5:24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

The word translated as subject is once again hupotasso in its middle voice. Thus vs. 24 is again speaking of wives giving voluntary submission and not submission which is demanded or obligated to be given.

Once interesting point which must be made concerning this verse is the words “AS the church is subject to Christ” Wives are to be subject to their husbands as the church is subject to Christ. What is Christ’s standard of subjection for the church?

Matt 20:25 But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. 26 “It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, 27 and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

In the church we are NOT to lord over (Greek = exercise dominion over) or exercise authority over one another. Jesus commanded us to follow His example and be servants who serve one another. The standard of subjection given by Jesus for the church is one of mutual service and mutual submission.

Thus wives subjection to their husbands AS the church is subject to Christ is a subjection of mutual service and mutual submission. It is NOT a subjection of being under dominion, under rule, or under the authority of their husbands. It is a subjection of mutuality.

As imitators of Christ in hupotasso submission we put to action our sacrificial love for one another.

A scriptural example of a subjection of mutuality is found in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5.

1Corinthians 7:3-5 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

In this picture of mutual subjection written by the apostle Paul the husband and wife have authority over each other’s bodies. In mutual authority they must agree before entering into a season of sexual abstinence. The apostle Paul did not give this authority to the husband alone as the “ruler” or “authority over” his wife. He also did not place the wife under the decision of her husband – she was given an equal voice in this agreement.

One last area I want to address in Genesis 3:16.

Genesis 3:16 To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you.”

When God told Eve her “desire will be for your husband” and “he will rule over you” He was telling her what consequences would become manifest because of sin.

The Hebrew word translated as desire can also mean turning or stretching out after. Eve who had known true face to face intimacy with God would now turn – stretch out after – her husband in order to fill the void for intimacy she once had with God. One of the consequences of sin would be turning from intimacy with God and stretching out after intimacy with her husband.

God was not giving a ‘commandment’ for the husband to rule over his wife. He was simply telling Eve the effect her sin would have in her own life and in the generations which followed. One consequence of their sin was the equal dominion and authority over the earth they had shared in the garden would eventually disappear, a day would come when the man would rise over the woman and rule over her.

Thanks be to God who has loosed us from the consequences of Adam and Eve’s sin through the cross !!!

In summary the apostle Paul instructs the body of Christ to voluntarily submit to one another in sacrificial love which as was demonstrated to us by Jesus Christ. After giving this instruction he begins a discourse telling how mutual submission works in the marriage relationship.

The apostle Paul did not place wives under the rule, authority, or dominion of their husbands. Instead, he used parallel words to show a mutual submission of the wife to the husband and the husband to the wife.